Why am I unhappy?

You have the wrong perception

What is being unhappy? The state of being negative in our current state. And expressing it in emotion i.e., sadness, crying, or other expressions like; emptiness, sunken face, pretence, etc. Happiness goes hand in hand with satisfaction? Yes and no. It depends majorly on perception. There are millionaires who are not satisfied with the profit the company is making in that financial quarter. And there is a child who isn’t happy because her father can’t afford an electric toy for her birthday.

Now the two persons above are by no means happy but from a neutral look, these two are in completely different worlds. Yes, many of us still attach happiness and satisfaction to physical or monetary gain. But is true happiness in getting richer? Wouldn’t Elon Musk be the happiest person in the world?

Have you ever had a strong desire for something. As though you traded your life, through sweat and hard work till your fingertips could just feel that which you are chasing. Be it that beautiful woman, or that raise on the job, or even getting that luxurious car. After a while, you get it. But just before the keys are given to you, most times the original hunger and desire for that thing you always wanted somewhat is no longer there- faded. And when you finally get that service, or thing you always aspired to get. It’s exciting at first, then as time goes on that excitement gradually drops. Before you know it, you start seeing flaws and errors within it. Just like those first years that pass by right after the honeymoon. The gorgeous rich or good-looking partner slowly starts acting weird, getting on your nerve and all sorts of stuff. Where you always caressed each other in the bed, becomes a place of arguing and throwing tantrums at each other. What happened, how did we get here? Where is that original love? Where did it go?

Happiness is more dependent on perception of things than the actual situation we may be going through. Be it a heart break, a promotion at work, or even losing a loved one. Growing up in era where money is the currency that rules-king. Has done more harm than good in blinding and deceiving most of our eyes- (how we view the world) Just like a Moslem may say Allah is God but an atheist may claim there is utterly no god! But how do you see your world? Are you the type of person who sees a half empty bottle of water? Or the one who sees the half full bottle?

The billionaire may see a two million profit as a speck while a startup entrepreneur may see a ten-thousand-dollar investment as a dream come true.

Is happiness dependent on money? Or satisfaction. We are all not born equal, neither the same nor similar. There is tall, male, female, blind, rich, middle class, name it. And he who comes at peace with this is far ahead in life. Am I asking to stop being ambitious? No. You should be more ambitious than anyone if you really want to be ahead in life. Happiness is derived from within. Like water drawn out of a well, so should you who seeks real happiness in life do. Search deeper within, you may find nothing. But you have the liberty to create something. That which you like and perceive may give you happiness- satisfaction. By now you should have realised money isn’t anywhere near this synthesis; it more like an ingredient, you may choose to add to make the experience better. Money is very important, but it should have minimal influence on your emotional state if you really are a happy person.

You realise happiness isn’t about satisfaction either at some point. Just like that pre-state just before we achieve the goal, sort of that initial desire dies. And we are very normal when the goal walks into our life. As though the happiness departed, our mind now refocuses to a bigger or better goal. In this very moment of fulfilment- satisfaction of the initial goal we are not even that happy as we were at the very beginning when achieving this target was only a dream. Just as fire may seem to be a shining light from a far but as soon as we get very close it may start to burn.

Perception. Change this and what you seemed to see as an ugly person may turn out to be the best partner and parent for your kids. Because real value comes in different subtle ways and most times not visible to the naked eye, but it is reflected within us as people. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Happiness is not in what we see but in how we feel in what we see. An emotion. To reach that state, be present.