If you’ve ever been shocked by sudden violent, murderous, or suicidal thoughts flashing through your mind, you’re not crazy—and you’re not alone
These dark, intrusive thoughts usually have one common root: unresolved bitterness from past trauma, betrayal, abuse, or injustice. The pain never fully healed. It turned into a “bitter root” that keeps poisoning your mind today.
And sometimes facing these dark truths and traumas is what you need.
Why not join me and I show you how you can overcome them? For good…
When someone hurts you deeply and you never truly forgive—or you forgive with your mouth but not your heart—the wound festers. Over time it becomes oppression. You feel powerless. You start fantasising about “fixing” the pain the only way your mind thinks is left, revenge or escape
Is it because your opponent or the person who offended you is stronger than you? Perhaps the situation was out of your control?
And you are trying to make things look normal, yet they are far from that.
Is it pain or an oppression you are enduring continuously?
Be it physical, emotional, worst of all mental.
If it has lingered in your mind long enough, it’s past the word normal. It needs to be treated or in other wards eliminated before its starts affecting other aspects of your life.
The only way to cut out a prominent tree; the bitterness, is to start from the roots. And sometimes it might regrow on its own later in the future!
If am to ask, what happened exactly? And how did it go wrong? How did you react to that scenario? Did it reoccur, or was it a one-time disruption?
Who was it-what was your association with that person, place?
Was it ever resolved or did it just steam off with time? How did you adapt after?
In that order, please write it down (the answers) somewhere and include all relevant information. Please this part is crucial if you want this remedy to be of effect. Follow the very order, even though some answers may overlap.
The very nature of bitterness, sometimes mistaken for anger (an emotion); it’s a state a person gets into after encountering a displeasure or disturbance on a recurring basis and is sincerely sick and tired of it. And may have a desire to resort to extreme measures to rid of the problem but have no such power.
The person is sort of forced to accept a situation they don’t want, as though sitting on coal fresh from fire. And you are to pretend to be comfortable.
[He who is bitter, if given power. Is capable of anything to resolve that pain point. This can be good but have dreadful repercussions.]
Why Bitterness Fuels Suicidal and Murderous Thoughts?
Well, that (Suicidal/murder thoughts) can only be blamed on many things, but one thing is for sure there is an element of bitterness in those feelings. An unhealed wound, past trauma or oppression that triggers lots of negative emotions in your soul. The pain is sometimes as fresh as though it happened to you yesterday. You are crying within. I have been there.
I wouldn’t want to be there one more time, but there are a few things you can do to let go of this pain, lingering within like a smouldering cigar.
Letting go of the past, embracing the present
What good is the past to the present? If not just mere lessons and experiences.
If you can’t even change the meal that you ate yesterday morning. How can you change an event that happened a long time ago. It surely was out of your control therefore don’t try to act like it is possible to change it now. Can you? Can you change your parent for a richer one?
So, stop imagining what could have gone right or what you shouldn’t have done in that situation. Let it be.
Embrace the new, the present as though your life depended on it. Because it does.
The past is a memory you can’t forget but can forgive. If you want to achieve that life you want, you must move on.
In fact, you must know what you want in life to move on faster. If you can actually define the life you want to have in the next 3 to 5 years in a sentence or two, then start getting consumed by (working towards) achieving it. As you soak deeper into more meaningful activities towards your dream life, the trauma from your past will gradually lose meaning as your heart will now be consumed by more meaningful activities.
What can I do to take away this pain?
Forgiving those who hurt you or letting go, of that traumatising experience you went through. Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice you must make, every time those (memories) come back to your head.
(They) come to see if you have forgiven yourself and even those who hurt you.
This doesn’t come easy, but it’s the price you must pay if you want to invite happiness back into your life.
You could write and fill in these gaps, “I choose to forgive [name] for [specific hurt]. I release them from my judgment and give it to God.
How can I let go and forgive them?
(If you need more help forgiving specific people or situations, read my detailed guide:
check out: how can I let go and forgive them, on my medium)
This is a continuous process; let it take its time. Limit yourself to the present and having a composed mind will make you more aware of your feelings and help you gather fighting ground against those intrusive thoughts.
When those murder or suicidal thoughts hit you again, whispering in your ears:
‘They deserve to suffer.” → murderous thoughts
“It will never get better.” → suicidal thoughts
These are not “your” thoughts. They are lies trying to destroy you
Take a deep breath and pause. And ask yourself these questions and write down the answers somewhere-maybe on your phone or a paper.
“How true is this voice? Is it a lie?”
“Why does this very thought, or idea keep coming to my mind?”
“Is this what I Really want deep down?”
“What will happen if I do this?”
“What do I want to achieve in life?”
“What will happen to my loved ones(family) if they find out, I did this?”
“What useful thing can I do right now to propel my life towards my goal?”
By the time you reach the last answer, you should know what to do next. But never give in to that lie(that voice saying do it- that’s a demon)
How to overcome intrusive thoughts?
You could try out this scientifically proven method of overcoming these disturbing thoughts:
- Acknowledge is the first step. “This thought just came. It’s not from me.”
You can’t solve this by running away from the very problem.(You can’t heal what you hide.)
- Identify (arrest) these thoughts whenever they come to your mind. Most times they come out of nowhere, i.e. you don’t self-initiate them.
Note: (Trying to suppress these thoughts by distracting yourself may worsen them- be careful.)
Write down the intrusive thought if you can. Exactly as it appeared.
Writing it down pulls the poison out into the open where it loses power.
- How do you feel about that thought?
Self-examination is crucial, truth be told most people have a dark desire to fulfil or give in to these thoughts. But ask yourself again, “Is this really what I would want?”
- Analyse the thought keenly– but this time deliberately until you get to the core of it. (not in a negative way but seeking a way out, a solution)
Where possible, write down the positive resolution you have made. And speak it out loud, continuously until you believe it. For example, ‘I choose to forgive [name] for [specific hurt]. I release them from my judgment.’
- Speak the truth to that emotion or thought from within your heart/ mind and if necessary, using your mouth as though you were speaking to an invisible person. And assure it otherwise or how you will not do what it is asking you to do neither conform to its lies. [This is the most important phase] and it requires you to be consistent in other wards stand on your convictions. Don’t relent neither give in no matter how persistent the thoughts are. Keep repelling them. (this is your sanity on the line)
- Do this every time the memory or thought hits. It rewires your brain and starves the bitter root.
Then practice mindfulness (being present) and redirect your attention to the task at hand.
Some pitfalls to avoid.
Negative self-talk: Believing the lie and trying to self-negate or fight off that intrusive thought with a darker truth. It may work initially but may worsen things in the process.
Distractions, i.e. brushing off the though and putting your mind to something else and not acknowledging existence of these thoughts. They will only multiply. The brain is sort of triggered by this back lash. As though it seeks even the more the things you fight the most to avoid.
(Imagine entering a building. Usually, you could bypass the door over twenty times without noticing anything weird. But if someone in the building informs you that there is a nude picture attached to the door you came through. Even though your initial intent wasn’t to look at the door at all. When you are walking out, you will by most means try to check out the picture on the door or do your best to avoid looking at it.)
In that very way, the brain becomes more curious about such one-off thoughts, that could have casually by passed your mind if you hadn’t paid attention to them. But the moment you pause and realise them. Then try to fight them- distract yourself, the brain will want to dig deeper into such.
These thoughts are sometimes continuous but the more you stand your ground against them as though you were fighting a battle, they lessen with time and eventually disappear for good.
